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- <text id=93TT2036>
- <title>
- Aug. 02, 1993: Stupid Talk-Show Tricks
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1993
- Aug. 02, 1993 Big Shots:America's Kids and Their Guns
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- SHOW BUSINESS, Page 55
- Stupid Talk-Show Tricks
- </hdr>
- <body>
- <p>NBC and CBS squabble in a corporate custody battle over David
- Letterman's shtick
- </p>
- <p>By RICHARD CORLISS--With reporting by Jeffrey Ressner/Los Angeles and William Tynan/New
- York
- </p>
- <p> A late night in September. David Letterman is on CBS, with
- the same bits he perfected (but maybe didn't patent) on his
- NBC show: running animals through stupid tricks and Calvert
- De Forest--Larry "Bud" Melman to you--through the humiliation
- gauntlet. Chevy Chase is on Fox, reprising the Weekend Update
- routine from his early stint on NBC's Saturday Night Live. So
- what does that leave for beleaguered NBC and its corporate parent,
- General Electric? To stick with the lunch-pail charisma of Jay
- Leno at 11:30. To hope that Conan O'Brien (Dave's 12:30 replacement)
- will disprove early indications that he is a human test pattern.
- And, for now, to cry "Rip-off!" all the way to the courtroom.
- </p>
- <p> At issue--if anything so frivolous can be called an issue--was whether a performer can use material created for a program
- owned by another network. "There are certain intellectual-property
- issues that do not travel with Dave," warned peacock president
- Robert C. Wright on NBC's summer press tour, referring to such
- Letterman shtick as Stupid Pet Tricks, Larry "Bud" and the Top
- 10 List. "If CBS thought they were buying that, they didn't...They can certainly do things like that. But they can't
- do those things."
- </p>
- <p> CBS Entertainment president Jeff Sagansky replied genially,
- as you'd expect of the winner in the $42 million taffy pull
- over Letterman's services. "David's brand of comedy is unique,"
- he said. "And we're not really worried about the NBC suit."
- Then he added a japish threat: "We have invested $1 billion
- in baseball over the last four years, which NBC is going to
- get now. And we feel we have a proprietary right to the nine-inning
- baseball game."
- </p>
- <p> Right now the late-night game is in its dog days, or stupid-pet
- season. The play-offs begin Aug. 30, when Letterman debuts on
- CBS opposite Leno, with the wild-card teams headed by O'Brien
- and Chase joining the fray in September. Addressing a network
- press conference last week, CBS's star free agent had fun from
- the moment he came onstage and fiddled with a defective microphone
- ("Oh, it's the GE equipment"). Anything different on the new
- show? "Well, I'm going to start using a rinse on my hair." Won't
- his huge salary alienate his old audience? "If that happens,
- I'll just, you know, buy a new audience."
- </p>
- <p> CBS, of course, hopes he steals Leno's audience, whose numbers
- are about the same as Johnny Carson's were. And Leno, whatever
- his anxiety over competing with the talk-show host who made
- him famous, is happy to milk the story for sharp laughs. Last
- week he read an "NBC memo" regarding the intellectual properties
- Dave may not use on CBS: the letters N, B or C ("legally they're
- ours"); the term Letterman ("because it originated with the
- singing group who appeared on NBC's Kraft Music Hall with Eddy
- Arnold in 1970"); and the phrase "pinhead network executives"
- ("Pinhead network executives are the exclusive property of NBC").
- </p>
- <p> Wright sounds spurned and burned. "None of us wanted to see
- him leave," he said of Letterman. "But the reality is...he walked out of our marriage." And so NBC picks a fight with
- flush CBS over comic ideas that were hackneyed when Letterman
- started using them; call it banalimony. That surely describes
- the high-level mud wrestling over De Forest's Melman. "If you
- have an actor who's a bumbler," asks Manhattan attorney Stanley
- Rothenberg, "do you prevent him from earning his living after
- this series is over? Do you say he can't go and bumble elsewhere?"
- </p>
- <p> And what, anyway, is a comedy character? "There was no Larry
- `Bud' Melman character," says Merrill Markoe, Late Night's first
- head writer. "It was just Calvert being unable to read cue cards
- particularly well. It was a trait with which he was so consistent
- that we could call it a character. That was the character: there
- was no character." As for Stupid Pet Tricks, Markoe dreamed
- it up for Letterman's NBC 1980 morning show--which he, not
- NBC, owns--and reused it on Late Night. "I came up with a
- really good sequel to Stupid Pet Tricks," adds Markoe. "If anyone
- wants to contact me, for $3.5 million I can tell them what it
- is."
- </p>
- <p> Considerably more is at stake this fall. NBC, the premier late-night
- comedy network for almost 40 years, has a daunting challenger
- in Letterman. The late-night game could be a fall classic this
- year, but the Barry Bonds of talk-show comedy doesn't "hold
- a grudge" against his old team. "I've had a little remorse,"
- he said with uncharacteristic introspection. "Certainly no acrimony."
- The night before his last NBC show, Letterman recalled, "Bob
- Wright came up to the office, and we sat and we talked for about
- an hour. And he gave me some very nice gifts." And what were
- the gifts? "Oh, a pack of gum."
- </p>
-
- </body>
- </article>
- </text>
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-